The Diagnosis

imageI do not claim to be a writer.   I am only writing this blog so that I can communicate my journey through orthopedic problems with my friends and loved ones. I am excited to share my successes, experiences and setbacks.

Eight years ago I began experiencing pain from my waist down. It was very difficult to pinpoint the pain source.  Many different activities aggravated it. Over the years the pain was increasing. As I began to lose mobility I started giving up things I loved, like golf and dancing. Due to these sacrifices I became willing to see a doctor. Previously I had only visited rolfers, chiropractors and massage technicians.  I was referred to several specialist and found out I had hip dysplasia in both hips and would need two new hips. I also learned that my low back was broken. Spiritually I crumbled. As the doctor reviewed different procedures I could choose he went over scars, recovery time and even procedure specifics. I was absolutely horrified. I was going to need at the very minimum three major surgeries. He recommended I start by repairing my back.

Everything in my life depended on me being active and able to move. Especially my financial independence. Over a two year period I experienced two major back surgery’s because I was trying to sustain the life I had created for myself. The first procedure was April 2014 l5-s1 back fusion. The second one was July 1, 2015 hardware was removal. My doctor had advised me to find a new career. This did not seem like an option. I fought through the pain to try and maintain my career. Some days I would need to lie down on the floor while on the job. Some coworkers were super supportive and others looked at me with questions in their eyes.  I can’t even explain how humiliating it felt to lie on the floor and expect people to understand.  Other times the pain would be so bad I would be limping or even stuck standing in one place unable to move. I did not know at this time I had already began the process of surrender. My life was about to change regardless of my opinion on the matter.  Now I know a lot of the embarrassment was ego but some was just fear because I was losing my independence.