The Diagnosis

imageI do not claim to be a writer.   I am only writing this blog so that I can communicate my journey through orthopedic problems with my friends and loved ones. I am excited to share my successes, experiences and setbacks.

Eight years ago I began experiencing pain from my waist down. It was very difficult to pinpoint the pain source.  Many different activities aggravated it. Over the years the pain was increasing. As I began to lose mobility I started giving up things I loved, like golf and dancing. Due to these sacrifices I became willing to see a doctor. Previously I had only visited rolfers, chiropractors and massage technicians.  I was referred to several specialist and found out I had hip dysplasia in both hips and would need two new hips. I also learned that my low back was broken. Spiritually I crumbled. As the doctor reviewed different procedures I could choose he went over scars, recovery time and even procedure specifics. I was absolutely horrified. I was going to need at the very minimum three major surgeries. He recommended I start by repairing my back.

Everything in my life depended on me being active and able to move. Especially my financial independence. Over a two year period I experienced two major back surgery’s because I was trying to sustain the life I had created for myself. The first procedure was April 2014 l5-s1 back fusion. The second one was July 1, 2015 hardware was removal. My doctor had advised me to find a new career. This did not seem like an option. I fought through the pain to try and maintain my career. Some days I would need to lie down on the floor while on the job. Some coworkers were super supportive and others looked at me with questions in their eyes.  I can’t even explain how humiliating it felt to lie on the floor and expect people to understand.  Other times the pain would be so bad I would be limping or even stuck standing in one place unable to move. I did not know at this time I had already began the process of surrender. My life was about to change regardless of my opinion on the matter.  Now I know a lot of the embarrassment was ego but some was just fear because I was losing my independence.

 

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12 thoughts on “The Diagnosis

  1. Lori Engler

    This opens the door for awareness and healing for you. It also invites others to be your support or to know they can seek support they need. Just having someone who has had similar experiences is validating and knowing you can speak your own truths without feeling like a complainer really takes a load off. Good for you for taking care of yourself but seeking support. I walk a similar path with autoimmune disease and we all need to know that someone listens and cares and could offer support. Journey on…

    Liked by 1 person

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