I Show Up

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At times, I have thought my stress was being caused either by my medical diagnosis or my physical pain. However, I have come to realize that any stress I feel is caused solely by how I am choosing to think about a certain situation. Therefore, the stress is not caused by circumstances or by the fact that I am in pain, but it comes from how I think about my pain. What do I make my pain mean? This has been a powerful epiphany in my awareness. I have been able to closely monitor my mind and carefully separate facts from opinions concerning my medical issues. The relief has been, without a doubt, invaluable. I have definitely found this easier to do while working one-on-one with someone. Having an outside perspective has been a real game changer.

From all of this, I have found a new calling. I have gained a new level of knowledge and empathy concerning people and the world we live in.  Knowing how pain or a medical diagnosis can make a person crazy has given me new purpose. I say all of this because I have decided to start working one-on-one with people, and I am very excited to do so. I have spent many years working in this type of calling, and I have spent the last couple of years becoming certified and credentialed in wellness coaching. I have also been studying psychology as a college student, and I am excited to one day complete this degree as it lines up nicely with my coaching experiences. I am enthusiastic and equally frightened to move forward to the next level.

When I first started entertaining this idea, an old memory of me trying to run for class office in high school kept popping into my mind. This memory arises when I am scared and effectively reinforces a feeling of fear. At the time, I was feeling scared to put myself “out there.”  Let me explain…

When I was in high school, I ran for class office. I was nowhere ready for a service commitment of this magnitude. I did not have the skill set it required, and I would not have this for many years to come. Nevertheless, I presented myself as an option in front of hundreds of peers at a school assembly. After leaving the stage, I knew I had completely humiliated myself. Fast forward to just a few months ago when I recalled this memory, and the feeling of embarrassment, humility, and shame washed over me.

Here is the kicker; as I examined this memory more and related it to my knowledge today, I found something interesting. I took this memory and instead of myself, I put my daughter in my place. The circumstances stayed the same, but instead of me, it was this beautiful girl I love unconditionally doing the presenting and walking embarrassed from the stage. A completely different feeling washed over me. This new feeling was one of pride. In the new scenario, I was so proud that my daughter had showed up and tried. To fail when trying something new is not a bad thing but a show of courage. See, the universe was never going to let me have something I was not ready for, and that is a good thing. I never would have known, however, if I had not tried. That day, I learned I had more to work on: more inspiration and direction and more truth and knowledge of where I wanted to go and who I wanted to be. That one event helped shape who I am today.

It is interesting how much, unconditional self-love is necessary for success and a healthy mind. All these years, I have interpreted that experience as one of shame instead of courage, gratitude, direction, and pride. Now, when I recall that very same memory, I relate a completely different set of feelings to it. I am finding my courage to move forward in my new endeavors while drawing from that experience. Today, I remember to love myself unconditionally and without regard.

I will never know if I do not try. If my new business is not meant to be, then it will not be. I know it is time to make a difference in this world. I have designed an eight-week program that will help people facing a medical diagnosis or living with pain to increase their quality of life, reduce their pain levels, and rediscover their joy and purpose. This is my calling. Scared or not, I will show up.

I would love to hear your thoughts and feelings about this subject. Thank you so much for all of your continued love and support.

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